Director: Jon Turteltaub
Cast: Ruby Rose, Jason Statham, Rainn Wilson, Jessica McNamee, Bingbing Li, Robert Taylor
Rating: 12A
Running time: 113 mins
Release date:10/08/2018
I imagine that as a director there can be nothing quite so intimidating as agreeing to helm a shark movie. After all, when the ultimate shark movie has already been made, what’s the point of trying? Jaws came out in 1975 and gifted the world one of the most iconic lines in cinema, whilst also making an entire generation afraid to swim- and though many have tried to dethrone it, from the worthy (Deep Blue Sea) to the utterly insane (Sharknado) none have come close.
And – spoiler alert!- neither does The Meg, the new Jason Statham vehicle directed by Jon Turteltaub and out in cinemas this weekend. Statham plays Jonas Taylor, a disgraced former deep sea rescue diver who spends his days boozing in Thailand, haunted by his last failed mission- a noisy and confusing affair the audience are forced to witness in the prologue- and one that, he claims, was thwarted by a giant shark. When another submarine mission fails spectacularly in seemingly similar circumstances it’s Jonas who is called to save the day and determine whether this giant prehistoric shark that was thought to be extinct could still be alive.
If you’ve seen the poster for The Meg, in which teeny tiny Jason Statham treads water precariously close to a peckish looking shark then it should come as no surprise that the Carcharodon Megalodon, to give it its full name, is indeed still alive. If you’ve looked a little closer still, you’ll have noticed that teeny tiny Jason Statham is holding an enormous tranquiliser gun – so it should also come as no surprise that he is largely unbothered by the size of the thing and goes after it with everything he’s got. That Statham feels like a worthy adversary for a giant prehistoric shark is testament to his action hero status; conversely, that same well-worn status meant that throughout the 1h53 minute running time I never felt he was ever in any real danger. One day a canny casting director might put Statham in an action film and do the old Janet Leigh in Psycho/ Drew Barrymore in Scream switcheroo but until that day, films starring Statham may always lack true peril.
Then again it all depends on what you go to the movies for. On a drizzly Tuesday evening when Trump is still president, getting on the property ladder is all but out of reach and the world is literally on fire, there is something rather comforting about seeing The Stath battle a shark, without a shred of fear that he’ll lose that battle. At my screening, people all around were whooping and cheering at his every impressive dive, every landed punch, and every slightly hammy line of tortured-soul dialogue.
Of course, it’s not all fun and games- there are several characters who don’t fare as well as Statham’s Jonas, but the script invests in them so little it’s hard to be affected by their ultimate demise. Despite this, somebody somewhere down the line did sit down and have a think about who they should be: the result is a refreshingly mixed bunch of men and women of different races, not one of whom was put in a gratuitous bikini scene (the same of which cannot be said for Statham, whose abs ought to have a co-starring credit).
Turteltaub takes a leaf out of Spielberg’s book by waiting a good half an hour before showing the audience the shark, but once that introduction has been made The Meg is the guest you can’t get rid of. He shows up everywhere: from a laboratory-cum-aquarium to a beach full of holidaymakers in a visually spectacular scene in which Turteltaub -happily- remembers that you can kill off anyone you like in the movies as long as you don’t kill the dog (#SavePippin). No, it’s not Jaws- but nothing is. No, it won’t be a timeless classic – but in the moment it was a rip-roaring, white knuckle ride with a side of ever-charismatic Statham. No it’s not realistic- but these days who needs any more reality? Like I say: it all depends on what you go to the movies for.
