Director: Gil Kenan

Cast: Sam Rockwell, Rosemarie DeWitt, Jared Harris, Nicholas Braun, Saxon Sharbino, Kyle Catlett, Kennedi Clements, Jane Adams, Susan Heyward

Rating: 15

Running Time: 94 mins

Release Date: May 22nd, 2015

Not all remakes are bad; some, when done right, can introduce a new perspective on old material or update an old story for modern audiences. EVIL DEAD was an example of a good remake, the improvements in modern effects and make up meant that the gore was more believable but also remaking the film allowed the filmmakers to introduce a new spin on what we’ve already seen, this time we had a female protagonist instead of a male and slightly other variations on the source material meant that the EVIL DEAD was able to stand on its own. POLTERGEIST is a remake of the Tobe Hooper 1982 horror classic of the same name. As a standalone film and as a remake, POLTERGEIST fails on every level to elicit anything other than boredom from both its audience and its cast.

With the father being hit by unemployment and the mother being a stay at home writer, the Bowen family have been forced to leave their previous life and move into a new home. It’s repeatedly mentioned how the family have no money and they can’t afford anything, yet they can spend money on a new house and, in a later scene, expensive gifts for the whole family! But people don’t go to horror films expecting tight plotting, if the film can deliver on the scares than at least it’s achieved that. Instead, POLTERGEIST’ is nothing more than predictable jump scares, which admittedly the original was full of, but they were well constructed. Instead we have poor looking CGI skeletons and ghosts jumping out at the screen. The plot itself is so rushed and disjointed that there is no time to process anything, leaving any space for character development or hints of personality sucked into the same ghostly dimension that the Bowen family’s poor youngest daughter is taken into.

Finding their new home haunted, the Bowen family have to be the most relaxed family to ever be preyed upon be a poltergeist. Even when their youngest daughter is taken by the ghosts, they remain in relaxed mode. The ever dependable Sam Rockwell looks half asleep and his oddly comedic performance feels like something in a completely different film. In fact, everyone here is in autopilot mode, stumbling from one poor set piece to the next, sprouting out clunky exposition and looking genuinely bored. Jared Harris turns up as a paranormal investigator  who can help the family, while his performance injects some much needed liveliness into the film, it’s at odds with the serious tone the film wants to have.

In the end, POLTERGEIST stumbles around trying desperately to get scares, but instead reveals itself as the worst possible thing a horror film could; harmless and unnecessary, born more out of name recognition than necessity. FAMILY GUY once did an episode that spoofed POLTERGEIST. That was scarier.

Verdict

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