Last week’s penultimate episode was astonishing, moments seasons in the making finally came to pass. It was explosive. Shocking. Breathtaking. A small taster for this week’s main event. A lot of this season has been building up to and foreshadowing the big moments of the last three episodes. The finale is all payoff and the characters you love to hate (or hate to love) getting what they deserve. So, grab your nearest pack of Kleenex.
It turns out that Stannis’ barbeque to improve troop moral didn’t go according to plan, many of his men have deserted and the rest just really don’t look bothered anymore. It’s all very grim, and Stannis is down but still determined to march to Winterfell. He’s the only one who still wants to be at this particular Scout camp.
Things quickly go from bad for the would-be king, Selyse is found dead by her own hand and Melissandre pulls a Dany and buggers off. Yet Stannis and his army still march, planning to besiege Winterfell. That doesn’t happen, the Bolton army arrive to the party a little early; and Stannis quickly realises he should have brought more friends or used more leeches or not burnt his daughter or just stayed at Dragonstone. Take your pick.
You don’t get to see the full battle, just a a long shot of Stannis’ forces being vastly outnumbered by the Bolton’s. You can already guess which way it goes.
In the aftermath Stannis is left broken physically and spiritually. He had a really, really s**t day at the office. The last thing he sees is Brienne of Tarth standing over him, and having her story about a shadow killing Renly taken seriously for the first time. He doesn’t try to stop his fate, he accepts it. Brienne finally achieves one of her many missions.
Oh Brienne! You could have made it two, if only you hadn’t been distracted and ran off to kill Stannis, you would have seen a candle finally lit in the Broken Tower. Sansa escaped her room! I cheered. Even when confronted by apprentice psychopath Myranda, Sansa doesn’t give in. Myranda goes on about torturing her, and then…Theon throws her to the ground. Splat. I cheered again. Then, he and Sansa join hands and make their own jump from Winterfell’s walls. I cheered again. I hope they’re not dead.
Sansa isn’t the only Stark to have a big moment. Arya uses one of the Faceless Men’s many faces to disguise herself as Meryn Trant’s type, and things quickly get stabbby. As Arya makes a dot-to-dot on his face with a knife before slitting his throat. It’s brutal.
Trying to slip back into the House of Black and White after lights out doesn’t go as well. Jaqen and The Waif are waiting, the former takes his own life before actually being revealed as the latter. Understandably Arya is a little confused and Start’s peeling face after face from the fake Jaqen corpse. The last face is her own, and her vision begins to blur. The whole sequence is a Lynch fan’s wet dream. Beautiful. Surreal. Horrific.
The Stark children won this week. Cersei’s daughter wasn’t so lucky, Princess Myrcella succumbs to poisoning just as she has a heart-to-heart with dear old daddy Lannister. The Sand Snakes have showed them selves to be truly cold, as Ellaria wipes poison from the lips which gave the princess a parting kiss.
Cersei herself, has a truly horrific ordeal to go through, forced on a penance walk through King’s Landing after admitting one of her lesser sins to the High Sparrow. She is shorn and paraded naked through the city, whilst a septa rings a bell and chants ‘Shame’. The citizens of the city prove to be much worse than wolf-whistling builders as the former queen undergoes her walk of shame.The whole sequence is difficult to watch but impossible to look away from. It’s captivating. Filmed entirely from Cersei’s perspective this is the Lannister lioness at her most vulnerable.
From one queen to another, Dany isn’t having the best time convincing Drogon to take her home. He just wants to sleep. Poor Drogon. Though, Dany’s walk on her own doesn’t go well, as she bumps into hundreds of Dothraki. Oops.
Dany’s entourage are planning to find her, with her two beau’s Daario and Jorah heading off from Meereen. That’ll be fun. Tyrion, Missandei, Grey Worm and a returned Varys are assembled as super team to rule in the queen’s absence.
It looks like Meereen isn’t the only place in need of a new leader.
The most hated man at the Wall (he said it himself) Jon Snow pays for showing kindness to the Wildlings by being Ceasared by his own dear brothers of the Night’s Watch. Mutiny. Shock. That’s not happened before….oh wait. Alliser Thorne is the first to plunge a knife in (Jon really shouldn’t have pissed him off on his first day, or promoted him, but who knew?) and irritating steward Olly is the last. As if being stabbed in the back by your own men isn’t bad enough, that kid’s miserable little mug being the last thing you see is just insulting.
The last shot we see of Jon Snow is his lifeless body as his blood covers the snow. His watch has ended.
