ANGELA GULNER

“I found it cathartic, and strangely empowering — to air this dirty laundry, to put my darkest moments on the page, and then on the screen…”

Worldwide reports suggest close to 70 million people suffer from an eating disorder. This statistic is shocking to most people, but not to actress/creator and recovering bulimic Angela Gulner. In fact, instead of hiding from the issue, Angela has embraced it — twice.

Late last year, Angela unveiled the television pilot “Binge,” an edgy comedy about an unhinged woman trying desperately to avoid confronting her disorder and her feelings. The response was overwhelmingly positive, garnering ample attention and high praise from both critics and the relevant community.

Now, just a few months later, Angela debuts the short film, “The Blind Girl,” marking the second project about her struggles with bulimia. It’s actually a prequel to the original and gives a fuller look at how Angela (the character) ended up in a seemingly bottomless spiral. We’re introduced to her dysfunctional love life, enlisting a grown-up Drake Bell (from Nickelodeon’s “Josh & Drake”) as her on-again, off-again boyfriend.

Now that “The Blind Girl” has been released into the world, Angela Gulner found some time for an interview:

For anyone who hasn’t seen it, set the scene for “The Blind Girl.”

ANGELA: THE BLIND GIRL is a short film that examines a codependent relationship over the course of 4 consecutive years — with each year reflecting a different stage of the protagonist (Angela’s) bulimia — Starve, Binge, Purge, Repeat. Through these brief peeks into Angela and Jack’s life, we see how two damaged, well-intentioned people can enable and suffocate each other — and how addiction can stall your life.

Why a prequel — was there something specific you felt needed to be set-up before “Binge”?

ANGELA: We’ve had such a big and beautiful response to the Pilot — our fans have flooded us with emails and videos and beautiful, supportive messages about the work we’re doing and hope to do with the show — we wanted to give back. THE BLIND GIRL is our Valentine to them — and a way for us to keep rounding out the world and the characters we want to explore in BINGE. THE BLIND GIRL is an origin story of sorts — a way to portray Angela’s bulimia when she’s not at rock bottom (though certainly catapulting right toward it). People live, successfully, with eating disorders for years before they bottom out. I myself was bulimic for 10 years and while it was always painful and unhealthy and stressful and hard, I was still a fully functioning human being. I had relationships, I got my Masters’ degree, I had friendships and jobs and hobbies….the pilot episode of BINGE shows Angela at the bottom, and we wanted to give the audience a chance to know her before the point.

Tell us about the meaning behind the title “The Blind Girl.”

The Blind Girl references the story of St. Valentine — he fell in love with the blind daughter of a jailer and was sentenced to death. But before he died, he decided to cure the girl’s blindness and leave her a note signed ‘Your Valentine’. — that’s where the phrase comes from. In one sense, it’s a lovely, romantic story, but if you look a little more closely, it’s pretty problematic. In our film, Angela is the blind girl. She’s sick — she is trapped within the confines of her bulimia, and her addiction makes her vulnerable, desperate, impulsive, lonely, and scared. Jack (Drake Bell) is St. Valentine. Or at least, she desperately wants him to be. And he desperately wants himself to be. He sees a wounded bird and decides to save her — whether she wants to be saved or not. He sees himself as her white knight, and is attracted to her pain. He needs to be needed, and she needs to need. It becomes an allegory for co-dependency and a great frame in which to examine these complicated issues.

You named the lead character Angela, so how close to your real-life are you treading with her?

ANGELA: Ha. Very close. Very, very, very close. Closer in the prequel than in the pilot. Angela in the very first scene of THE BLIND GIRL is more or less me. And the deeper she gets into her disorder, the more she veers from me. The addiction, the habits, the denial, and the pain are all very real — but I myself am much kinder than Angela, much more timid. She becomes more and more my ‘ID’ — the way I wish I could have behaved when I was at peak pain. She doesn’t give a f*ck and isn’t afraid to let anyone know. Whereas, I give all the f*cks, and I hid it deep down inside. The two films are how bulimia felt to me. The biggest difference in plot is that I didn’t have an affair with my therapist. But the self-hate, the cycles, the impulsivity, the sex, the accidentally-signing-myself-up-for-treatment-while-drunk…that was all me. THE BLIND GIRL is also inspired by the relationship I found myself in before I get to treatment.

Did you find it difficult to take on the topic of bulimia considering your own history with it?

ANGELA: That’s a question I get a lot…and it’s an interesting one. And I think the honest answer is no, I didn’t find it difficult. I found it cathartic, and strangely empowering — to air this dirty laundry, to put my darkest moments on the page, and then on the screen — it was a way for me to say “Yeah, that happened. And I’m still here. It doesn’t define me, and I’m stronger now because of it.” It sounds cheesy, but there is nothing quite like putting yourself in a position of advocacy to keep you on the right track. Now, my recovery isn’t just for me — I owe it to the creative team of BINGE, and to the fans to keep myself healthy and to practice what I preach.

Also, in creating the pilot, we were moving at such breakneck speed that I honestly didn’t have time to think about being ‘triggered’. I was producing and getting crafty and shot-listing and ADing, so on and so forth — there was no time to dwell in the pain it might dig up — we were creating! It was such a wonderful way to take those years of pain and turn them into something great. It’s been an amazing way to own my pain and move past it.

What do you hope audiences take away from both of these projects?

ANGELA: Well, first of all, I hope they just like the story. At the end of the day, we’re trying to create something that people — not just people with eating disorders, but everyone — can relate to and laugh and cry with. We’ve all dealt with being stuck in bad cycles, with addiction, with depression — even if it’s not on a clinical level. The other thing that’s really important for us is to show people that they’re not alone, crazy, bad or strange, they’re just flawed, beautiful humans like the rest of us.

You’ve been teaming up with Yuri Baranovsky for your projects – how did that come about?

ANGELA: I’ve known Yuri for a few years — he runs a digital production company called Happy Little Guillotine Studios (www.hlgstudios.com) — they do really fantastic, creative work and have somehow managed to turn even some of their branded campaigns into these little works of art, so we always wanted to work together. I told him my story and the idea for the Pilot, he loved it and we wrote a draft — surprisingly quick! We shot both the BINGE pilot and THE BLIND GIRL with HLG Studios, and Yuri, aside from co-writing, also directed both. I really trust him and the other guys in the company with their vision and artistry and I’m pretty sure they like me since they keep casting me in things, so it was a match made in creative Heaven!

What’s been the biggest surprise for you as a creator?

ANGELA: To be honest, the response to the project was the biggest surprise by far. I was worried that people who didn’t have eating disorders were going to be really put off and people who did would think it was triggering, offensive, etc. But in fact, it’s been the exact opposite — the outpouring of love we got for it was almost overwhelming. Even NEDA — the National Eating Disorder Association — contacted us to tell us how much they loved it. It was the most pleasant kind of shock a lady can get.

So, what’s next for you and these projects?

ANGELA: We’re going to keep trying to get a full season made. We’ve had a lot of great meetings and a ton of interest, so we’re just looking for the right home for it (and always looking to meet more people who are interested in helping this come to life). So, we’re going to keep doing that and in the meantime, we might make a few more of these short film-style, stand-alone episodes. We think it’s a really nice way to round out the world while also providing content for a suddenly very loud, powerful and beautiful fanbase that we’ve managed to garner!

Watch “The Blind Girl” and “Binge” now at: www.BingeTheSeries.com and in the media player below:

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