Director: Stephen Greene
Cast: Jessica Biel, Jake Gyllenhaal, James Marsden, Catherine Keener, Bill Hader, Kirstie Alley, James Brolin, Tracy Morgan
Running time: 96 mins
Rating: 15
Release Date: 19th June, 2015
I have always been an advocate of blind cinema- that is to say settling down to watch a film with little to no knowledge of what you’re about to see. Sure you might have seen posters littered with four star reviews on the tube for weeks, you might have heard good things about it from a friend, but you know almost nothing else: you haven’t seen a trailer, have avoided all reviews and can therefore enter the cinema with a completely open mind. Knowing too much about what you’re about to see is enough to kill a movie stone cold before it’s even begun and so, having read the plot outline, it was with a heavy heart that I sat down to watch ACCIDENTAL LOVE.
The story revolves around a naïve roller skating waitress called Alice (Jessica Biel) who – on the evening of her engagement to her cop boyfriend (James Marsden)– gets accidentally shot in the head with a nail gun. After discovering she can’t get it removed because it would be too expensive, she travels to Washington DC to campaign for better healthcare where she meets an eager young congressman called Howard Birdwell (Jake Gyllenhaal) with whom she promptly falls in love. But could their relationship interfere with everything they stand for? Well, of course it will- it’s a movie- but the better question is: do you care?
Now I’m fairly certain that if in reality I ever came across anyone living with a nail embedded in their skull, they would have my full sympathy: I’m not a monster. But, given that this particular unfortunate is a sinfully unfunny Jessica Biel, I found myself sighing at the implausibility of her continued survival and wishing the nail would just hurry up and kill her already. Biel is not a natural comedienne and her timing leaves a lot to be desired but, then again, she had little to no direction on this project.
Originally the film was under David O’Russell’s direction (he of AMERICAN HUSTLE and THE FIGHTER fame) but he disowned it back in 2010 due to financing difficulties and it’s been sitting in the can ever since. We can’t know for certain how much O’Russell actually directed, but I hope for his reputation’s sake that his involvement was minimal; if this is the best performance he could get from Biel then he and she both are completely tin-eared when it comes to comedy. And from tin-eared to an assault on the ears, the relentlessly perky music that scores the film from beginning to end gives one the feeling of living in a Gameboy. Or an asylum. The “central” relationship between Biel and Gyllenhaal is unconvincing- and largely secondary which is odd given the film is being marketed as a romantic comedy, if one is to believe the cheery title and various posters.
Then there’s the fact that the nail in Biel’s head is supposed to provoke erratic (read: hilarious!) behaviour but all it does is make her swear furiously in Portuguese a couple of times and lower her sexual inhibitions briefly. I got the distinct feeling that the director- whoever and wherever he may be- didn’t want to stray too far into politically incorrect waters re: mental health; let’s not forget that this is a character with severe trauma to her brain. Although again, apparently not quite enough trauma to finish her off for good.
Given all this, is it wrong to say that I sincerely enjoyed several parts of this film? Certain elements remain untouched by shoddy, rushed editing and lack of proper direction: Catherine Keener for example is drily hilarious in her portrayal of a single minded congresswoman who would rather focus on building a military base on the moon than improve American healthcare- something which still feels satirical even in a post Obamacare age. Equally delightful cameos from Bill Hader and Kirstie Alley serve to lift the project as a whole, even if their performances do end up highlighting the lack of comic chops elsewhere.
ACCIDENTAL LOVE is an ambitious disaster of a film and a lesson in directing- unfortunately that lesson is that if your director drops out half way through, you end up with a film that is tonally disjointed and just generally all over the place. Even so, once the initial wave of “Oh my God, this is terrible” has crashed all over you, there is a kind of sadistic pleasure to be found in watching the rest of it; low expectations mean that several genuinely well-crafted, funny moments stick out like- well- a nail in the head.
Verdict
